Behavior problems with special needs kids are especially tricky for parents. Schools are quick to blame family, home life and known issues families have (like divorce, addiction, or financial issues) as the cause of a child’s difficult behavior.
While home life can and does have an effect on a child, his school needs to determine how to help the child cope in school and avoid difficult behavior. Part of his IEP should specifically adress behavior issues.
An FBA (Functional Behavior Assessment) is almost always necessary when children have bahavioral difficulties. A good FBA will help develop a hypothesis about the underlying issues that make a child behave the way they do. Many times a child’s learning disability will cause behavior issues as he struggles to keep up with his peers and realizes he is falling short. Or he doesn’t like his paraprofessional. Or he does not know how to express himself due to an underlying language deficit.
Unfortunately, parents are often told, flat-out, or subtly, that the problem is the child’s fault. The school may imply the behavior stems from problems in the home, so the onus is on the parents to get the child therapy and keep him home from school when he has been suspended for the seventh time that year.
Do not let the school railroad you into accepting the entire blame for his behavior. Remember, if a child is not learning, and is becoming frustrated, it is the school’s responsibility to adequately educate him. As soon as you realize your child is having behavior issues, request an FBA. If the school performs it, and you don’t feel it is adequate to meet his needs (which will be obvious if the behavior continues afterwards) request an Independent Educational Evaluation FBA. Do your homework and find the best behaviorist you can who will accurately assess your child and then help advocate for an appropriate program for him.
Most parents don’t realize that if their child misses several days of school because of behavior issues, the school is still obliged to provide an education! That means home bound instruction or some kind of private tutoring. Don’t let them off the hook and allow your child to be short-changed an education if he is struggling with behavior.
Too many parents are embarrassed by their childs behavior, and will accept the the suspensions quietly as part and parcel with his disability. Your child deserves an education regardless, so demand compensatory educating.